Pew News History

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The Pew News intro stinger, which is displayed to music before each news brief.

Pew News premiered on February 3, 2018.

Felix Kjellberg founded Pew News, but only hosted the news a single time.

As time has progressed, over a dozen different presenters have hosted the news. However, only a few have taken the coveted role of Lead Anchor presenting the news on The World’s Most Trusted News Source. Of these few, none have been more prominent than the people’s favorite news anchor, Gloria Borger.

Over the years, Gloria Borger proved to be a reliable and trustworthy source of news, adding insightful commentary and scathing critique. Many young people were inspired to pursue a career in honest journalism, a profession that seemed to be dying out day by day, due to increasingly dishonest or duplicitous reporting undermining the previously sterling reputation of the traditional news media, which was hard-won by reporting legends such as Walter Cronkite and Ron Burgundy.

However well things seemed to be going, trouble was brewing in Paradise, for when Pew News aired on June 16, 2018, a great many fans were upset to find that Gloria Borger had been summarily replaced without warning, by the relative newcomer Poppy Harlow. Backlash to this change was severe, with thousands of fans angrily writing in to Pew News to express disdain at the choice to switch anchors so abruptly. Conversely, a healthy contingent of fans voiced approval at the introduction of someone different, expressing warm support for the younger Ms. Harlow, whose general cheerfulness, charm, and cheek-popping antics had already won over their hearts.

Although I am not supposed to give my own personal opinion, I think that Felix Kjellberg, President and CEO of Pew News, was probably unsatisfied with many of the other reporters, which may have been the cause of the frequent replacements: Guillermo Arduino, Wolf Blitzner, Brooke Baldwin, Don Lemon, Kate Riley, Anders Coopers, and even former First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, have hosted the news show over the past year.

The backlash to Borger’s untimely disappearance did not go unnoticed in the higher levels of Pew News management. In the aftermath of the outrage, Gloria Borger returned as Co-Lead Anchor of Pew News, alongside Poppy Harlow. The two anchors, who, in any case, never appeared to bear any great antipathy between them, have put aside their differences and now alternate irregularly hosting Pew News. Strangely enough, they seem to be morphing into the same person, calling themselves by the amalgamated names Poppy Gloria or Poppy Borger intermittently.

Only time will tell if #TeamBorger or #TeamPoppy will prevail in the end.